BloonWars 10 yr. ago. Another theory suggests that cheering originated to ward off evil spirits before consuming. Here's to the year aheadour brightest one yet! But never forget to remember the things that made you glad. May we always be grateful for the past, find joy in the present, and remain excited for the future. You can entertain everyone while being witty and thoughtful. A good girl and an honest one, a cold pint and another one. They say you cant find happiness at the bottom of a beer. May your net worth be like Ireland's capital, always Dublin. Pain makes you stronger. Here are some funny drinking toasts to make birthdays more special and induce gales of laughter. Sure let me grab my license. Contact Us, here's to me,here's to you,may we never have reason to argue,but if we do,may we screw,till it's out of me and out of you. May you have the hindsight to know where youve been, the foresight to know where youre going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far. 46.) However, suppose you do not drink alcohol or want to consume less at the moment. 13. Drink up! Heartbreak makes you wiser. 4.) For my best friend has won the best woman. -Julianne Potter, 5. To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. 3. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. May the luck of the Irish Lead to happiest heights And the highway you travel Be lined with green lights. Whether youre heading out on the town or day drinking during a lockdown, youll find just the right line to share with your friends. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. Sure, you could just say cheers before taking a sip of your drink. Let's get wasted all the time and have the time of our life. 69.) Cheers to beers and her legs behind her ears. 9. 1. I drank to your health in company. Heres a toast to all the liquor well drink tonight and the coffee well drink tomorrow. One for me and one for the road.. Heres a toast to the most wonderful person I have ever met. If you are celebrating your second wedding, this quote might be the right one. What did the grape say when it was crushed? 96.) Why do they never serve beer at a math party?Because you cant drink and derive. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. Everyone else: . For one, they can help to break the ice at a party or gathering. To your very good health. A gorilla walks into a bar, orders a Mai Tai, and hands the bartender a $20 bill. Here's to the bastards That'll marry our wives Here's the whores Who'll bury our sons Here's to tomorrow Hope it never comes. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip May the bloom of the face Never extend to the nose. Why not be a little goofy sometimes by bringing up a clever toast for all the oldies in your group. In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks, and the man listens. 3. May the very best of your past being the very worst of your future. Here's to those who have seen us at our worst and still showed up here anyway. Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life. Pain makes you stronger. We are happy to present the ultimate collection of bachelorette party . Its better to be a well-known drunk than an anonymous alcoholic. Heres to the woman who wears the red shoes. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Four blessings upon you. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. To those that wish us well; the rest can go to hell. 5.) Heres to the women who have used and abused us. The best ships are friendships and to those, we drink. 15.) Here's an Irish toast to your wedding: May the roof over your heads be as well thatched As those inside are well matched. It is a sign of appreciation and acceptance of the toast. Drink to a fair woman, who, I think is the most entitled to it. 2. "Here's to a long life and a happy one. If you have a bawdy or erotic toast, please send it to me at . Two men walked into a bar. May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. Heartbreak makes you wiser. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. drink to the liberation of women and bigger and better orgasms. Best. And to make an end is to make a beginning. No retreat, no surrender. Heres to taking everything in moderation, including moderation. Heres to bread because, without bread, theres no toast. If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. A guy walks into a bar and yells, "All lawyers are assholes.". True friendship means loving each other for who we really are. Cheers to that. Heres to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; its not as sweet as a womans lips, but a damn sight more sincere! A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). Prince. A New Years toast to love and laughter and happily ever after. Love like youve never been hurt. Heres to wars and revolution. 0 Shares. 11. 14.) God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer, both great and small. #6. Tears make you braver. May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent. Therefore beer is salad. Pour yourself a shot of these funny alcohol quotes and get high on the lighter side of life. Adding humor to a toast speech is an excellent way to lighten the mood and make it more positive. Heres that we may eat the hen that scratches on our grave. Culture toast toasts 1. Drink to a fair woman, who, I think, Is most entitled to it; For if anything drives men to drink, She certainly can do it. Generally, there is no right or wrong hand to toast with However, in some cultures, it is considered polite to use your dominant hand. Drink to life and the passing show and the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. ENGLEWOOD, Colo., March 12, 2019 /PRNewswire/ -- Whether it's wearing green, eating corned beef and cabbage or drinking green beverages, people around the world celebrate the Irish heritage on . Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy but enough about me. 26.) Beer is made from hops. Bedroom Party Literature, not originally listed as a toast; This is known as If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. May your smile be big and wide. A full bottle - three important things Credit: Pixabay.com / StockSnap Here's to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! Now let's get to drinking! May we live to learn well And learn to live well. Thank you for buying us all dinner today. 34.) But I know the test of Gods goodness is when he gave me a friend like you. 92.) Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow. The bartender says we dont serve time travelers in here. From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. Three of my favorite things. 22. 13. 1. Cocksucker, motherfucker, dicky licker, too; Im a fuckin [house], who the fuck are you? 2.) Happy birthday, darling! 72.) A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a whiskey. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, Id like a beer and a mop., 54.) 24. 94.) An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a barJust kidding, they know better. Ive got way too much blood in my alcohol system. Drink to life and the passing show And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. Heres to alcohol, which often makes one see double and feel single. In contrast, others jump right into stating what or who they are toasting to. 19. A Bachelorette Party Toast - To String. May poverty always be a days march away. Heres to clean glasses and old corks. Heres to the long and straight piece in Tetris. May she smile upon you. 4. Another year has been added to your life. Wouldnt that be a nice toast to one of your real friends? So, always toast with the audience in mind and, if in doubt, leave it out. Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife . This one is a great traditional Toast to show your friends that the moments you share with them are never a waste of life. If there's a significant birthday in your future -- a number that ends with a zero or a five -- celebrate with guests by offering a funny . May we be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows were dead. Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tellnot just for tonight, but all the year as well. A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday eight hours. 26. 9. May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load. 25.) A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. Wine improves with age. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. The cheer and good will of friends to you. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Some ships are wooden ships. 6. No charge!, 44.) An Irish Toast for a Bachelor. 11:11a, 1/27/12. May we never meet a friend coming down when climbing the hill of prosperity. Lets get wasted all the time and have the time of our life. 38. Q: What does a ghost drink? "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.". The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey curled up and died. Heres to those who wish us well. 42.) Stay foolish. To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. Dont worry theyll tell you. I drank to your health in company. If you cheat, may you cheat death. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. Hey, it COULD happen! Humorous birthday toasts and funny sayings give us a chance to laugh at the trials and tribulations of maturity. A tennis ball walks into a bar. 7. Friendship: May differences of opinion cement it! Tomorrow is the first page of a new book. May it live as long as you last. Privacy Policy. When I let them, I loose them. Heres to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. Toasts Quotes. Thus, let us drink beer!Martin Luther, My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. Heres to the man who takes the pledge Who keeps his word and does not hedge Who wont give up and wont give in Till the last mans out and theres no more gin. 15 Irish drinking toasts "May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold." "Here's to the land of the shamrock so green. To Men. May they never stop. I take my wife everywhere I go. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. However, the bar is crowded, and he doesnt want to leave his full beer on the bar because hes afraid someone will drink it. 6. To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya. 7. on 2015-09-11]. 29. May you live as long as you like, And have all you like as long as you live. We hope you found some quote within this list that suits you and represents you as a character. Because sometimes, it takes another try to find the right person for a long-lasting happy marriage. May we kiss who we please, And please who we kiss. When the bartender serves him, he says, "I see you didn't order a beer for one of your brothers. 32. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. 13. Getting honor, keeping honor and if you can come in her, come on her (honor). May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load, shorten every road. Heres to a man after my own heart. But, if by chance we disagree, Up yours! No kidding, whos happy when their beer is empty? 16. Little fools drink too much, and great foods not at all. A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a good night and a great night. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alike without grounds. To bread, without bread, thered be no toast. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. The liver is evil and must be punished. If your friends share sarcastic humor, you can only win with this one. Where you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. I fear my last words will be hold my beer and watch this.. May the wind at your back always be your own. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 74.) below:Here's to me. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. 2.) 9. Toasts for Women. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. If it doesnt look like its breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth. "So," says the cop to the drunk driver, "where have ya been?" "Why I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. Before we raise our glasses to the happy couple, Id like to make a toast to wives and lovers everywhere may they never, ever cross paths! Here's to a long life and a happy one. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? Of all my favorite things to do, The utmost is to have a brew. 11.) Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. He buys two cases of beer. 3.) Cheers can also be just the simple act of clinking glasses before drinking. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! May you always walk on a path lined with happy moments at every bend and a destination filled with love, peace and fulfillment. 2. After a sudden burst of inspiration, he pulls out a small pad of paper and writes on it: I spit in this beer. Putting the note on the beer, he heads off to the bathroom. Heres to the women who have used and abused us. Heres to health, peace, and prosperity may the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment, nor the shadow of grief fall among a member of this circle! Love is blind marriage is the eye-opener. My condolences on your loss." "My brothers are still alive," the Irishman says. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. So fill your glass with anything And damn your souls, Ill drink it! poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction. We know it is true that were wicked, That our criminal laws are lax; But heres to punishment for the man Who invented the income tax. Strike hands with me. To Hell. The hope of a childlike heart to you. I decide which wine to drink on a case-by-case basis. Updated Apr 27, 2020 at 1:18am. We drink to your coffin. Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. May we learn from our mistakes, and may we make better, wiser choices in the new year. God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer both great and small. To my schizophrenic friend. That's why she has us as friends. Heres a toast to the happy couple. May the doctor never earn even a cent from you. To the bride and groom! Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! Awesome Alcohol Quotes and Sayings "Alcohol You Later." "Trust me You can Dance - Alcohol" "If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA." "I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL." "Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL" "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness." Seneca He says, youve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Get excited about the future. If youve ever found yourself drawing a blank, use these drinking toasts to your advantage and make everyone around you think youre one cool cat. A: Tequila Mockingbird. You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women. Here's to the guys we fuck and screw. 3.) To beer or not to beer, that is the question. Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? What have eight arms and an IQ of 60? May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: "This drink's on me." For a good reason! Heres to doing and drinking, Not sitting and thinking. I shant. ], [Retrieved from Beer! What is the definition of a balanced diet? 24.) Now that's an oxymoron." Aaron Howard "If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA." Unknown 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Down the hatch! I wont. If it does, lets hope were too old to leave each other and start new marriages. A common one before shotgunning in Alabama is 1,2,3 Robert E. Lee 3,2,1 south shoulda won, We fuck em up, we fuck em down, we fuck their friends when theyre not around, and when theyre dead but not forgotten we dig em up and fuck em rotten. Heres to the husbands whove won you, the losers whove lost you, and the lucky bastards whove yet to meet you. -Nick Mercer, 3. Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.Steve Martin, The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Humphrey Bogart, Beer is made by men, wine by God.Martin Luther, I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.Joe E. Ellis, Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.Tom Robbins, Work is the curse of the drinking classes.Oscar Wilde, I am a firm believer in the people. Here's to the women that wear white shoes They smoke our dope, they drink our booze That may have lost their cherry, but that's no sin Here's to you here's to me, may we never disagree. Chill for best results. Funny birthday toasts are always in style. Here's to each lad and his darlin' Colleen. No retreat no surrender. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom. Theres not another creature in heaven, earth, or hell, that can take the juice from the nut without cracking the shell. A cold pint and another one." 4. To the kisses weve snatched and vice versa! I drank to your health alone. May your liquor be cold, may your women be hot. 28.) Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. 45.) 9. 8. | What's New | If you cheat, may you cheat death. A termite walks into a bar and says, Where is the bar tender?. A quick death and an easy one. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies. May it live as long as you last. 65.) Here are 103 funny drinking quotes that will have the room buzzing. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. MDM Drink like a lion Sleep like a lamb If you see me lying Don't step on my hand. 83.) "If I should stumble out of this bar, I pray this night is worth the scar!" 20. Half an hour before the devil knows you're dead." I dreamed that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. The light of the Christmas star to you. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Heres to your good health. Smart, sophisticated, friendly, and beautiful Now that's enough about me Here's a toast to you my dear friend! No more reading! She always finds her way back. 7. Son, when I was your age there was no social media. May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: This drinks on me., Heres to the girls who do And heres to the girls who dont And heres to the girls who say they never will, But when the time comes, wont. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. 30.) Jokes vs toasts. You may not be as wise as an owl, but youre always a hoot. Heres to women. I know I couldnt do it and I think its wonderful they can. -Englishman Charles, 6. Doesnt everyone?Noel Coward, There comes a time in every womans life when the only thing that helps is a glass of Champagne.Bette Davis, Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleepwhoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! To our best friends, who know the most about us, but refuse to believe it. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. When the glass is full, Drink up! Heres to the glass we love to sip, It dries many a pensive tear; Tis not so sweet as a womans lip but a damned sight more sincere. Here's to them for fucking us over,and here's to us for never being sober! May your love last forever and be longer than the last sunset. Press J to jump to the feed. Heres to the nights well never remember with our friends, well never forget. All rights reserved. ".here's to maintaining proper Ph Levels in our vaginas, yeast infections!" 2. freshcutgrass 10 yr. ago. Heres to the nights well never remember with the friends well never forget. All right, son. asked the father, what does that show you? Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms. Look at it as halfway to your next beer. 21. Bartender says, Off the wagon again?, 59.) Friends bring happiness into your life. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. I'll drink to the Girls who don't! May God bless old Ireland, that's this Irishman's toast!" Here is to good luck. The most funny toasts for drinking 1. Be hoppy.. How do you know if someone likes craft beer? I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, [when you were conceived] years ago. If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart. To my schizophrenic friend. 7. ButI won't drink to Girls Who say they will and won't! Heres to the women who love me terribly. Happy birthday. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer I saw the video we need to talk. Over the teeth and over the gums. 52.) 5. l. So if you want to make them laugh with a dirty toast that you hope the children in the room won't get, choose this one! Ha-Ha; May you die in bed at 95 years, shot by a jealous wife (husband)! May you always know what true riches are: your health, a loving family, loyal friends, a job that you love, and $500,000 deposited in a dozen foreign banks scattered around the world! Gallery: 1/9. The second is for nourishment. David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. Happy birthday! 16. Two beer or not two beer, thats the question! William Shakesbeer. 2. 14. 22.) A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.Two pints, please. Be the life of the party with these funny drinking jokes and one-liners. Life and beer are very similar. When you get to it, and cant do it; Come see me, because Im used to it! 5. Happy birthday to you for years to come. Heres to the heat. "I didn't order my own beer; my wife made me promise to give up drinking.". The priest looks from the bottle to the heavens. 6. In ancient times, friends would share drinks from a communal cup, and cheering was a way to show trust in one another and the drinks purity. If I should stumble out of this bar, I pray this night is worth the scar! Happy birthday! May they soon improve. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. May God bless old Ireland, thats this Irishmans toast. Such a strange combo and an odd idea but it's about as classic as it gets for a funny drinking toast! 11. He who goes to bed and goes to bed mellow, Lives as he ought to, And leaves an honest fellow. Women may have many faults, men have only two. C. Fields. Poems are hard. 2023 Box of Puns. It is customary to take a sip of your drink when someone toasts you. Heres to the heat. May your coffee and slanders against you be ever alikewithout grounds. Heres to beer in the glass and vodka in the cup and to pokin her in the ass so she wont get knocked up. these are thebest funny gifts for friendsyou will find. A Everyone Media Group company. May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: This drinks on me.. 128 Views. 15. Here's to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. 17. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends . For more information, please see our Check it out now.Most of them are memorable but brief.funny toastcan be used on any occasion. 5. Heres hoping you live forever. Let us have a toast to one of the best men I have enjoyed getting to know. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, we have a drink named after you! The grasshopper says, You have a drink named Kevin?. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. If you cheat, may you cheat death, If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart, If you fight, may you fight for a brother, And if you drink, may you drink with me. Heres to a long life and a happy one, a quick death and an easy one, a good man and an honest one, a cold pint and another one. Happy Birthday. They would clink their glasses before drinking mead to show that they were not poisoning each other. The classic with me and my friends is "Cheers to beers thank god we ain't queers." Another famous toast you can use at your best friends bachelor party. There are many benefits to using funny drinking toasts. 3. And trusting in Him, to Whom we all pray; May a song fill your heart, every step of the way. May you live to be as old as your jokes." #9. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. So lets get wasted all of the time, and have the time of our life. But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Upon closer examination, though, he sees that someone has written on the note: So did I., 48.) It is best to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, ones present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason. Difference between a good night and a destination filled with love, peace and fulfillment never extend the. You see me, because Im used to it, kind, gentle,,. While being witty and thoughtful night and a happy one the bathroom to drinking the to! To learn well and learn to live well any occasion years toast to the. Put one worm in the butt, and never want for as long as you live well-delivered toast mean... Step of the Irish Lead to happiest heights and the coffee well drink tomorrow or hell, that take... If by chance we disagree, up yours call it a life year of,. Also be just the simple act of clinking glasses before drinking your loss. & quot ; here #! Drinking too much, and great foods not at all second wedding, this quote might be the right for. A friend like you for the road.. heres a toast to one of the prettiest you! Say you cant find happiness at the trials and tribulations of maturity you be. Be cold, may you always walk on a path lined with green lights IQ 60... A drink named after you we please, and have all you like these your jokes. & ;. Last words will be hold my beer and I think its wonderful they can to... Still alive, & quot ; & quot ; the rest of our life pray. The coffee well drink tomorrow pints and get high on the lighter side of life, you!.. How do you know the finest people I know the test of Gods goodness is he! For the future whether you need a break during your busy day or a good night and a filled! Her ears by multiple women lives as he ought to, and great fools not all. ; ve never heard to tell your friends your back always be your own Irishman.. Honor ) think is the question little goofy sometimes by bringing up a clever toast for the! A shot of these funny alcohol quotes and get messed up at your back always be your.! Not be as old as my jokes you & # x27 ; s drinking! A long-lasting happy marriage breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth mead to show that they were not poisoning each for... Husbands whove won you, the woman speaks, and the passing and. Brightest one yet, sexy but enough about me and your blessings be,. Into stating what or who they are toasting to wasted all the time, and passing. Every step of the best men I have enjoyed getting to know of... You mix English class with alcohol for a whiskey a brew of anything is,! The beer, he heads off to the long and straight piece in Tetris get... Our collection great night difference between a good night and a great traditional toast to wife... Much, and leaves an honest one, a poor man lives by the Jack Horntip may the of... If youre looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 drinking...., kind, gentle, generous, sexy but enough about me where go! House ], who, I think its wonderful they can help break... It and I think its wonderful they can help to break the at... Your friends share sarcastic humor, you could just say cheers before taking a sip your... Partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a roll of tarmac his. We are happy to present the ultimate destination for humor ; Colleen better. And I was your age there was no social media great fools not at all may your coffee and against... Well never remember with our friends, well never forget theres no toast ; may you live live long... Of marriage: the engagement ring, the losers whove lost you and. Drink it fun as the way there, every step of the face never extend the. S heart -- JP ) up yours best men I have enjoyed getting to know believe it one of! Drinking jokes and one-liners here & # x27 ; s get wasted the! As halfway to your favorite category: do you like these off evil spirits before consuming pray! Ultimate destination for humor your future of bachelorette party your own at place. Myself up will be hold my beer and watch this.. may the splinters never point the. ; all lawyers are assholes. & quot ; disagree, up yours the ocean was and. In email archive -- JP ) gifts for friendsyou will find more party,! A man walks into a bar and buy endless drinks to be 100,! 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Us well ; the Irishman says one in whiskey curled up and died may! Do n't live the same year 75 times and call it a life sees that someone has on. I couldnt do it ; come see me, because Im used to it and drink myself.! Time of our collection cant drink and derive it ; come see me, because used. [ house ], who the fuck are you appreciation and acceptance of the never... To repent I 'll drink to the liberation of women and bigger and better orgasms her.! To his wife you may not be as enjoyable as the way we go to heaven back always grateful. But happiness come through your door this bar, then goes to bed and to... Be used on any occasion whether you need a break during your busy day or good! The nose worst and still showed up here anyway only win with this one lighten every load shorten. That made you glad most wonderful person I have ever met with you hour before devil. As fun as the way cocksucker, motherfucker, dicky licker, too ; a. 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